So it is official. The armed services can no longer expel people from its ranks based solely on their being gay, bi, lesbian, or anything else that isn’t related to their performance. I think that’s the way it should be. For many years the US has lagged behind other westernized countries by not allowing people to be who they are.

Imagine for a moment, whoever you are, whatever makes you different, that you could never put up a picture in your office of your loved ones, never have one in your wallet, never talk about what you are doing on a weekend, never talk about what you did last night even? You’d have to hide from family, friends, coworkers even casual acquaintances. Say the guy at the service station you go to who asks you if you have a hot date with your opposite gendered person tonight. When faced with such questions many people in the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered (GLBT) community feel its often easier to go along, say nothing or use gender neutral phrasing. This creates a sense of isolation from the society we all live in.

I’m gay. Most of you who know me know that because I have told you or you figured it out. Sometimes I don’t tell people if I think it’s totally irrelevant or it just never comes up. Some patients are homophobic, or act like they are, and for the sake of their therapy at first I might not mention it, hoping someday that their beliefs will be open to change. I am a great therapist, perhaps one of the better ones around. I am an expert in a lot of different areas. My being gay is not really an issue in your therapy but it is part of what makes me who I am.

I’m glad “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” is history.  The end of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” will not solve the problem of intolerance in our society though.  Legislated equality seldom takes effect immediately. The African Americans were freed for than a century ago, are they equal today?

Intolerance is an issue that is killing young people. In what some are calling an epidemic atmosphere, gay teens are 3-5 times more likely to kill themselves (Hatzenbuehler, Pediatrics, 2011; 127:5 896-903).

They’re not doing it because homosexuals are sick. They’re doing it because society is so intolerant that they think they won’t be able stand the harassment, rejection and even the homelessness that can follow when a teen dares to come out.

America is founded on the notion that people are equal and have a right to happiness as long as they aren’t doing that at someone else’s expense. Let’s give everyone a break and start to try and enjoy each other’s diversity. Let’s also educate our children, family members and everyone we see that senseless hate unfounded by any ill deed is not acceptable. People of all colors, faiths, orientations and beliefs help make America great, they always have.